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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Blast from the past: some annonymous predictions made circa June 2007

Here are some predictions made earlier this year. The source is unknown, but they are pretty exciting. Some have come to pass, others have bombed, others are yet to come and others never may. Judge for yorself...

1. Kibaki will run again for presidency. Despite all his efforts and the wishes of his kitchen cabinet, he will lose the December election by a wide margin.

2. KANU will reemerge as a formidable force, as Kalonzo Musyoka runs as her torch bearer.

3. Prior to this, Kalonzo Musyoka will leave ODM-K with the excuse that the primaries were not democratic.

4. Prior to this Raila Odinga will win the ODM-K primaries and run as her presidential candidate.

5. Prior to this, Uhuru Kenyatta and Nicholas Biwott will be reconcilled by Daniel T. Moi, who will also prevail on them to woo Kalonzo back as the torch bearer. In real time, predictions 3 and 4 have already happened.
(Remember that the only reason Kalonzo left KANU was due to the failed 'Uhuru Project.' Moi always believed that his tribe should not rule soon after his reign. For his own comfort, he tried Uhuru and there was disaster. Mudavadi is now a principled man, and will not go back to KANU. Indeed Kalonzo believed he could be president even before KANU swallowed 'Tractor.' Moi is still a master planner and has learned from his blunder. He has said "Kalonzo Tosha!" Uhuru has agreed. In calling the KANU delegates conference to converge in a few hours, UHURU is about to save his face, lest people conclude he never matured. It was assumed that he had become his own man when he disregarded Moi's advice and led KANU into ODM-K.

6. Ruto, Mudavadi, Balala will stay in ODM-K. Others more will stay.

7. Charity Ngilu and Paul Muite and others will join ODM-K and will not run for the presidency.

8. Raphael Tuju, Joseph Kamotho, Uhuru Kenyatta, Charity Ngilu and Musikari Kombo will not win elections in their constituencies. Muite will be the only one to win as an MP who is not pro Narc-K in Central province.

9. The sun will set on Kenya's 2nd president. He will not live to see how KANU fared in the next elections.

10. There will not be a clear winner in the December elections between Raila Odinga of ODM-K, and Kalonzo Musyoka of KANU. NARC-K will be a distant 3rd. Unfortunately the decision will be made by the High Court of Kenya.

11. On the brighter side, Kenya will have her first Prime Minister next year. It will be a woman. (Her name was revealed to me but it is this part that is not clear)

12. Generally between June and August, the wildebeest congregate and prepare to cross the famous Grumeti River to enter Kenya's Masai Mara. Some do not make it. Likewise, the politicians are in a similar situation. The first defection has already taken place and benefited NARC-K, the second DP. Most defections will not make an impact except one.

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