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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

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Obviously, we can all enjoy the freedom to associate Raila with all the present and former dictators of the world. The problem, however, is that right now, there will be an almost zero audience outside of Central Province. The only concern is that PNU supporters seem hard pressed to understand why many Kenyans are considering voting out Kibaki. Well, fellow Kenyan, let's sample these:

Remember: In 2002, Raila and team tirelessly campaigning for Kibaki while he was bedridden? Remember afterwards, Raila taking the road to Nyeri for Kabaki's first home coming as president? Remember him mobbed by crowds in Central Province along the way and referred to as "Njamba" (hero)? And only now he is a dictator, a fascist and so on. Was Raila a hero only because he was supporting Kibaki?

Remember these words: "The era of roadside policy declarations is gone"? Those were Kibaki's gallant declaration in his inaugural speech soon after he was handed the instruments of power. He was telling Moi to the face that the culture of goodies (read- districts, colleges etc) is dead. FACT: Kibaki has literally dished out more districts and colleges by the roadside in less than five years than Moi ever did in his twenty four.

Remember: Kenyans voted in Kibaki (among other issues) on a corruption platform? Remember Kenyans' distaste for Goldenberg? Well, it took Moi and team almost 24 years to produce Goldenberg. Now contrast this: it only took Kibaki and team one year to produce Anglo Leasing!

Remember MOU? Was that not trashed as soon as Kibaki's henchmen took over? In their short memory five years is equal to infinity! Now they are running around like headless chicken asking us for one more term. Imagine the arrogance of the second term knowing that the "Dear leader" will not need our votes again. Remember Matere Kereri, this late in the day, taunting Kenyans that he advised the president soon after election to trash-out the MOU? What was that for? Where I come from, you don't continue beating up a man stretching out an arm for mercy.

Remember: We thought after Moi, we were done with commissions of inquiry. Under Kibaki, haven't we witnessed one commission after another? Didn't commissions start inquiring into the work of others that came before them? At least Moi used to tell us the finding of a commission however compromised. Kibaki does not even bother to reveal the find after spending fortunes of tax payers' money.

Remember: Lucy Kibaki, taking control of Nation News Rooms in the wee hours of the night? Abusing and beating up professional journalists? FACT: Like many Kenyans, those poor journalists are mothers, fathers, daughter and sons to different Kenyan families. They go to work every day/night so that their families can have decent lives. Needless to say, they were embarrassed by the indignity meted upon them in front of cameras while their children, husbands, wives and parents watched from their living rooms. Fellow Kenyans, did we troop to the polls to elect Kibaki so that Lucy can demean our brothers/sisters with impunity in full view of their own children and loved ones? We say NO! Kibaki's tells us Kazi iendelee? Kazi ya kuchapa wazazi mpele ya watoto wao?

Remember: "The Armenian Brothers" taking control of East African Standard News Rooms and a few days latter beating up workers in our biggest airport? Remember those criminals calling our countrymen NIGGERS... on our own soil? Remember they had government (GK) number plates on several of their cars? Remember they were openly in possession of government issued firearms and police uniforms? And Kibaki wants us to sing Kazi iendelee? Kazi ya Mamluki?

Remember "Rattle The Snake"? Did we elect a snake or a government? To whom was the bite from the rattled snake directed to? The very people who voted Michuki's boss to office? What a short memory! They quickly forgot that they twice tried unsuccessfully? Third time lucky, Kenyans voted the Kibaki team - they then quickly metamorhosized into snakes!

Remember Moi being accused of tribalism in public appointments? Now compare Moi and Kibaki head-to-head on the extent of this vice. Was there a time in Moi's 24 year rule when all heads of all key ministries (Finance, Internal Security, Defense, and Education) were from Rift valley, let alone being Kalenjin? Today, not only are all ministers from the same community, so are all the PS's, all the Under Secretaries and all heads of departments. Add KRA and Central Bank to the list. Amazingly, all this tribalization was achieved within three years of Kibaki's presidency! FACT - It took Moi twenty-four years to achieve some sort of semblance of Kibaki's tribalism.

Remember the government of the day has been trying to counter tribal accusation by circulating a list of "Other Kenyans" - outside Central Province - in public appointments. Isn't it laughable that our national government is bold enough to compare public appointment of one Province against public appoints offered to all other Kenyan communities? And to be fair, the list actually compares very well. Meaning the rest of the country together has a somewhat equal appointment tally to a single province. Isn't a pity that Muslims are asked to hand in their resumes for consideration 90 days to the end of the president's term? Where was he all these years? Did he just remember that some Kenyans are Muslims?

Remember Livondo, he who cannot read a written speech? Remember that he has four AP bodyguards provided for by the government? FACT: While women and children in Mt. Elgon are being butchered, the government affords Livondo four government solders ready to shoot at the public as they did in Western Kenya.

Now I know you must remember this. Remember Nyachae with his war cries? Inspecting a guard of honor mounted by his rag-tag militia in full view of cameras? Didn't the thugs make good their threat by attacking three respectable politicians just moments latter? Again, in full view of the cameras?

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