Skip to main content

Featured

Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

More shocking revelations as "tsunami" rips Kibaki's cabinet



















We are reliably informed that Daudi "Anglo Leasing" Mwiraria has bitten the dust, along with Paul Muite. Other significant election losers are Kibwezi's Kalembe "Big Mouth" Ndile and Kenda's Tabitha Seii who failed to make an impresiion with 226 votes. Also defeated were three of retired President Moi’s sons, Gideon, Jonathan and Raymond in Baringo Central, Eldama Ravine and Rongai; which completes Moi's dismantling of KANU as the Kalenjin community finally kisses goodbye the Moi legacy. Harun "The Boss" Mwau's dream has finally come true as he is the MP elect for Kilome. Against all odds, and with KENDA, brother Pattni's party, Linah Chebii Kilimo is set to see the inside of the 10th Parliament. Jimmy Angwenyi is bound to find himself on the wrong-end of the law come 2008 as he has been reported to have shot dead one person and seriously injured two others. Chaos erupted in Kamkunji constituency after several ballot boxes were delivered into the tallying centre by police officers.

Meanwhile in Kajiado North, former Education Minister George "Garment" Saitoti has had to run for dear life after voters stoned him and accused him of delivering "sealed empty ballot boxes" with the intention of swinging the vote in his favour. Young Maasai morans have been seen chanting war-cries and vehemently indicating that they will not accept rigged elections results. Saitoti has had to contend with fierce competition from preacher turned politician Moses Ole Sakuda. Elsewhere, William Ole Ntimama has retained his Narok North seat, beating his closest rival, PNU candidate Moitalel Kenta by 6,174 votes. He got 27,814 votes, Kenta managed 21,640 and Martin Kamwaro 12,180. Fred Kapondi of ODM won in Mt Elgon, an area that has suffered from tribal clashes for the better part of the last two years.

The storm that ripped the Kibaki cabinet also blew away Dr. Newton Kulundu, who has since conceded defeat. Kulundu announced that he accepted defeat as a democrat, but complained a number of anomalies in some of the polling centres in the area. In Budalangi, Raphael Wanjala was also defeated by Nairobi based lawyer Ababu Namwamba of ODM. Namwamba got 11,012 votes against Mr Wanjala 7,180 votes in an election that was marked with high turnout.

Leading the list of returnees to the August House is the ODM presidential running mate, Musalia Mudavadi, former fiery politician James Orengo and Dalmas Otieno. And among the big winners was rank outsider, Fred Kapondi, who beat John Serut in Mt Elgon, and Kabando wa Kabando, who ejected Kagwe, a Kibaki insider. Funyula voters yet again rejected a Vice-President — as several other high profile leaders trailed their opponents even as results came in — thereby completely changing President Kibaki’s political matrix, if he wins. Awori’s more than two-decade-old political career, most of it under the Kanu regime, and only five years under the Narc administration, was ended by debutant Dr Paul Otuoma of ODM with 15,940 votes. Awori garnered 9,599, in the poll in which ODM-Kenya’s presidential running mate, Dr Julia Ojiambo, also lost.

Early today, the impact of the ODM-Kenya wave in Ukambani was being felt with cabinet minister Munyao falling in the hands of Mutula Kilonzo.

Comments

Popular Posts