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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Uganda opposition demands Museveni withdraw Kibaki congratulations

Uganda's opposition has demanded that President Museveni withdraw his congratulatory message to Kenya's Commander-in-Thief, Mwai Kibaki, or risk looking like an interested party in Kenya's turmoil. There have been unconfirmed reports that Uganda GSU officers have been deployed to opposition strongholds of Kisumu and Eldoret to quell the violence ostensibly after Kenyan GSU declined a shoot-to-kill order. The US was amongst the first to congratulate Kibaki, but the US State Department has since withdrawn it's congratulatory message through the US Embassy in Nairobi after it became apparent that Kibaki was involved in massive rigging and the EU dismissed the presidential elections as lacking credibility and called for the formation of an independent audit. The Union also rated the just concluded General Election as falling below international and regional standards. One State Department official was quoted as saying "We ain't congratulatin' nobody."

Reagan Okumu, Secretary for Regional and International Relations for Forum for Democratic Change (FDC) made these remarks in Kampala as reports surfaced in the daily papers that in his capacity as the chairman of the East African Community (EAC), President Yoweri Museveni has been talking with his Kenyan counterpart, Mwai Kibaki, as well as opposition leader Raila Odinga to try and resolve the crisis in Kenya. A statement from senior presidential adviser John Nagenda said Museveni had been in touch with Kibaki to “congratulate him on his re-election as president”. Museveni also inquired if there was “anything the EAC could do about the outbreak of violence in Kenya following the rejection of the results of one of the candidates.” Museveni’s efforts, jointly carried out with Tanzanian president Jakaya Kikwete, have not yet borne fruit but they are continuing, Nagenda added. Okumu said that AU, not Museveni, is more qualified to mediate the Kenyan crisis.

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