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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th
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From the rumour mill...

Word on the street is that Madame Lucy Kibaki is on the rampage again. In an incident at State House, apparently Jimmy Kibaki suggested that his father step down (it seems there's a Kibaki with a heart, after all), whereupon Lucy pounced on him and severely injured him. Also on the recieveing end was one Gitobu Imanyara who, considering himself a real Meru man, couldn't take what lesser men have taken with a stiff upper lip. Upon receipt of a torrent of Lucy's famous slaps, Gitobu retaliated, but was quickly neutralised by state security agents. He is now admitted in hospital in critical condition.
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Acolyte said…
Speaking of brutes, Lucy is the biggest one of them all. That woman has no decorum whatsoever I tell you!
2 February 2008 at 23:51
Anonymous said…
I have just heard from some reliable source that she shot her own son Jimmy on the foot. It is alleged that Jimmy is now abroad seeking medical treatment! Chizi huyu mama
4 February 2008 at 19:23
Anonymous said…
LOL, I HEAR SHE IS AN ACTIVIST AGAINST FEMALE CIRCUMCISION, BINGO!!! THAT IS EXACTLY HER PROBLEM, SHE AIN’T CIRCUMCISED, SO SHE’S HORNY AND ‘k’IBAKI ISN’T UP TO THE JOB , SO SHE IS NOW TAKING IT OUT ON THE PUBLIC!!!! ESPECIALLY MEN.
4 February 2008 at 19:25
Anonymous said…
Just wondering how many teeth she lost as a result of the Imanyara blow…any ideas?
4 February 2008 at 19:28
Anonymous said…
Well Honorable Imanyara, we need just other five courageous men and women like you to cause order and discipline at state house. You are our hero. Luo, Maasai, Meru, kalenjin, Luhya and other tribes, women do not slap men in front of their husbands. This shows that she does not respect the self proclaimed president. Shame on him and her.
4 February 2008 at 19:30
Anonymous said…
Bravo mheshimiwa Gitobu for teaching disciplining that mannerless woman who has failed to be disciplined by hher husband. Chapa yeye kabisa if she dares lay her hands on your body.
4 February 2008 at 19:30
Anonymous said…
Why shouldn’t Lucy Kibaki be restrained at some high security psychiatric institution? This is the umpteenth time she assaults officials and Kenyans she even does not have authority to sanction! If what happened at the State House was condoned by the so called president of Kenya is anything to go by then why should we be surprised that he gives “Shoot to Kill Orders” to the security agencies? Or is he so intimidated by his own version of Kenya’s Lady Macbeth that he has become totally drained of energy and reason to govern? A situation which aptly fits –in Shakespeare’s Macbeth’s [read Kibaki’s] declaration- “Fair is foul and foul is fair.”
4 February 2008 at 19:32
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