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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Lucy, being a Kibaki, thinks she's above the law and refuses to take responsibility for her actions...

The government has refuted the allegations made by the Member of Parliament for Imenti Central, Gitobu Imanyara that he was assaulted by the First Lady Lucy Kibaki three weeks ago. "We take great exception to these allegations and wish to state that the First Lady did not assault the legislator.”

In a statement, the government says it is astonishing that a lawyer of Imanyara’s stature would make such accusations a full three weeks after the alleged incident. ”We also state that no emissary has been sent to Imanyara to apologize over an assault incident that never took place. We hope that Gitobu Imanyara is not using the allegations as blackmail over the issue of government or cabinet appointments after he lost the position of Deputy Speaker in recent elections in Parliament,” it said.

The First Lady has instructed her lawyers to immediately take legal action against Imanyara and any other individual or outlets that perpetuate or communicate the wild allegations made, because they border on character assassination, blackmail and are part of a wider political scheme aimed at besmirching the office of the First Lady.

Earlier, the Imenti Central MP refuted claims that he was dead. Rumors have been circulating that the MP, who made his way back to parliament, had died or was hospitalized in critical condition. Anxiety has been high in his constituency for the last few weeks since the rumor began. Addressing the press on Monday, Imanyara termed the rumor as perturbing and disturbing and assured Kenyans that he would serve them at his best.

Comments

David said…
I'm not familiar with the case here, but if I'm not mistaken Lucy Kibaki id the wife of Mwai Kibaki, right? Then what kind of assault did she do? I never heard about any assault, since what I notice is she has some problems with one of parliament members.

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