Skip to main content

Featured

Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

How can you tell that the Great Depression is upon us?

In yet another sign that the Great Depression is around the corner, straight dudes have resorted to selling their booties for cash. Siasa Duni caught wind of the following ad on Ebay:

I am a 27-year-old straight white male living in New York City. I’m currently unemployed, having recently lost my position as a Business Analyst at a Big 5 investment bank on Wall Street.

I am looking to LEGALLY give my “gay virginity” to the highest bidder while retaining anonymity for both myself and the winner of the auction.

The two celebrities that people most frequently say I look like are “Adam Brody” from the show “The OC” and a guy who started (sic) in a movie I’ve never seen called “Spanking The Monkey”

What I am explicitly offering as part of this auction is the following - I will wear the same suit that I wore at my job interview at my ex-firm. I will meet the winner in a 100% LEGAL setting such as either at a licensed brothel in Nevada or Rhode Island, and I will spend some time having a drink with them, hanging out with them, laughing, breaking the ice, and so on.

Afterwards, I will deliver what I would consider to be the ideal bl*wjob / h*ndjob combination until the winner has an orgasm or 30 minutes passes whichever comes first. Sorry but no anal activity of any kind is part of this offer!


Oh, Lord God... can you come now?

Comments

Popular Posts