Wednesday, October 8, 2008

How can you tell that the Great Depression is upon us?

In yet another sign that the Great Depression is around the corner, straight dudes have resorted to selling their booties for cash. Siasa Duni caught wind of the following ad on Ebay:

I am a 27-year-old straight white male living in New York City. I’m currently unemployed, having recently lost my position as a Business Analyst at a Big 5 investment bank on Wall Street.

I am looking to LEGALLY give my “gay virginity” to the highest bidder while retaining anonymity for both myself and the winner of the auction.

The two celebrities that people most frequently say I look like are “Adam Brody” from the show “The OC” and a guy who started (sic) in a movie I’ve never seen called “Spanking The Monkey”

What I am explicitly offering as part of this auction is the following - I will wear the same suit that I wore at my job interview at my ex-firm. I will meet the winner in a 100% LEGAL setting such as either at a licensed brothel in Nevada or Rhode Island, and I will spend some time having a drink with them, hanging out with them, laughing, breaking the ice, and so on.

Afterwards, I will deliver what I would consider to be the ideal bl*wjob / h*ndjob combination until the winner has an orgasm or 30 minutes passes whichever comes first. Sorry but no anal activity of any kind is part of this offer!

Oh, Lord God... can you come now?

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