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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Sarah Palin taking over...

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During a rally in Cedar Rapids, Iowa a fortnight ago, Alaska’s Governor Sarah Palin flipped the ticket and referred to a successful Republican presidential campaign as the Palin-McCain administration (click here to see the video). When Ms. Palin finished speaking and the presidential nominee, Senator John McCain, took the podium, people started leaving.

The same thing happened at a rally in Youngstown, Ohio almost a week later. On that occasion, Politico.com journalist Jonathan Martin was able to catch up with a few of the escaping attendees and asked why they were leaving while Mr. McCain was still speaking. Some explained that the airplane hangar where the rally was being held had grown crammed and uncomfortable. Others said that they had prior commitments to get to. But one thing was clear: The hangar wasn’t too hot and prior commitments weren’t a priority while Ms. Palin was speaking.

“I look up, about five minutes into McCain’s address and see a steady stream of people walking out of the rally,” said Radio Iowa’s Kay Henderson from the McCain-Palin event in Cedar Rapids. It should be obvious that Ms. Palin has her sites set on bigger fish than the vice presidency. It should also be plain to see that Mr. McCain’s big gamble that picking of Ms. Palin as his running mate is the sole factor responsible for energizing the Republican faithful to appear at these rallies intended to drum up support for their collective presidential aspirations. And it is becoming clearer each day that it is clear to Ms. Palin as well.

If the powers-that-be are able to manipulate circumstances to the point that the American public can be duped into thinking that they actually voted the Republican Party back into the oval office in November, Mr. McCain will probably try to push Ms. Palin into a little corner of the white house where she can do the little-or-nothing kind of things that vice presidents have a history of doing.

But Ms. Palin has other, bigger plans in mind. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Ms. Palin push President McCain into a corner of his own white house and take over. I can see it now; Ms. Palin will break into an impersonation of Kathy Bates in Misery and take a sledgehammer to Mr. McCain’s old ankles while he’s sleeping in the executive bedroom. By the time she’s finished, Mr. McCain will be begging to get back to the people he refers to as gooks. Then Ms. Palin will push wife Cindy down the white house steps in a reenactment of Whatever Happened To Baby Jane to keep her from exposing her plan.

That whole scenario might be a little too drastic for Ms. Palin. The keyword is “might”. But the point is that after her popularity has been used to get into the oval office, Ms. Palin isn’t simply going to go quietly into that goodnight. If Ms. Palin’s political record is any indication, she would be a vice president that would push the limits of constitutional law to a point that would make daily executive branch appearances before the Supreme Court a necessity. Shortly after the Palin-McCain team wins the presidency, so many people in Alaska will suffer a rendition that the only thing left in Alaska will be polar bears. And if Ms. Palin has her way, global warming will finish them off.

The popularity of the McCains is so weak who would even care if they disappeared? In a recent New York Times/CBS News poll, 77% of Republicans said that they had a favourable opinion of Sarah Palin. Why? Most people said they like the fact that they think that she is honest, tough, caring (as long as it’s not about polar bears or global warming), outspoken, and fresh-faced. Her intelligence was in a three-way tie for eighth place. Americans don’t care about her political qualifications; they like her for the same reasons they like Dr. Phil.

Mr. McCain is between a rock and a hard place. He has taken a backseat to a little substance, political wannabe without even a fraction of the genuine integrity of a pit bull in makeup. Without any vetting, he has managed to pick a person for his political ticket who he thought would be his biggest cheerleader, but is turning out to be more of a political nightmare.

Mr. McCain has no choice but to hope Ms. Palin can successfully complete his equivalent of a political hail Mary and pull off a stunning Republican Party victory and continue with Bush's policies. But don’t be surprised to see Mr. McCain disappear for weeks at a time, only to re-emerge in crutches, with wife Cindy pulling up the rear with her arm in a sling again.

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