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Friday, March 20, 2009

New words in 2009

TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

ASSMOSIS
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.

CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also
applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, and Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids or start a 'home business'.

SINBAD
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a "black box".

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded administrivia - needless
paperwork and processes.

404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message 404 not found meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OH-NO SECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit reply all).

JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training.

GOING FOR A McSHIT
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,
you're just going to the loo. If challenged by a pimply staff member,
your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known
as a McShit with Lies.

MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a wonder bra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.

GREYHOUND
A very short skirt only an inch from the hare.

SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter in your bed instead.

BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.

BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.

BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

TART FUEL
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks

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