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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Nyiha's BFF spills the beans!





















Jane Nyiha, the Kenyan Student at Kampala International University (KIU) who stabbed her lover David Musunga Ivita to death last Wednesday, has been charged with murder, and remanded to the notorious Luzira prison. Her best friend, Faith Mwanje, spills the beans on the star-crossed couple, revealing that they have been feuding over "offside romps" for the last four months. It’s a tragic tale of betrayal where a loving woman who, after massive sex exploitation, is battered and raped by her ruthless boyfriend; a disturbing story of rows, sex and lies...


"At first they were a hot couple who attracted the envy of every student. They used to walk hand-in-hand, enjoy kisses at campus and even went out quite often. They romped like there was no tomorrow, and wild screams would be heard a mile away from their room. The lovers even introduced each other to their parents in Kikuyu, Kenya, and pledged to tie the knot after school.

SEX ROWS
However, things started falling apart about four months ago over suspected cheating. David started accusing Jane of cheating on him when she started going out with other men. The worst came when they bitterly fought at Punchline club in Kabalagala after David caught her kissing another man.

Since then, he started warning her of 'being buried in a septic tank' if she did not check her conduct. As a friend, I advised Jane to throw in the towel for fear of her being murdered. Jane later quietly told David that she was no longer 'interested' but he kept pressing on. 'I'm fed up with this man but he can not leave me. Maybe he wants to leave me when I am dead,' she told me.

BAR BRAWL AND LIES
Last week Jane was having a good time with a new catch during a movie night at Punchline. A pal smoked her out and quietly sent a text message to David, telling him his girl was getting lovey-dovey with a mysterious hunk. A no-nonsense David later telephoned her and inquired about her whereabouts. But the sharp girl deceived him, saying she was at her friend’s place.

An enraged David came around with three other Kenyan guys and ended up beating up Jane, breaking her nose and gravely injuring the boyfriend. The matter was reported to police but David was not arrested. Since then, their relationship started falling apart, and counter threats of 'I'll kill you' started flying around. But because of earlier 'introductions', it then became difficult for David to 'divorce' Jane over the sex rumours.

SEX FOR MARKS AND POISON
But matters worsened when Jane started falling in love with her lecturer, prompting David to attempt poisoning her. He laced juice with poison and served her, but she rejected it. She survived death by a whisker.

When friends asked David why he wanted to end his girl’s life, he said the babe was slowly falling in love with a lecturer, moreover a Ugandan. He said he had spent a lot of money on the girl, on top of introducing her to his parents as his wife-to-be and could not afford to leave her. He swore to either kill her or himself. It was a matter of time. When I heard on Wednesday that David had been slain, I felt hurt, but not surprised."

Meanwhile, sources at Kabalagala Police station have said Nyiha told detectives that she stabbed her lover because he tried to rape her. "This man wanted to force me into sex. He came late and I told him to go back where he had spent the night, but he refused. When he returned in the morning, he tried to rape me," she said in a statement. "He was smelling of booze and his socks were full of ‘carbon’. He was very aggressive as he tried to enter me. I picked a knife and stabbed him in self-defence,” she added.

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