Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sporadic Demonstrations In Kampala: Emergency Message to American Citizens

Emergency Message to American Citizens
Kampala, Uganda
December 1, 2011

Sporadic Demonstrations in Kampala

Eyewitness reports in Kampala indicate that small pockets of demonstrators may be burning tires, blocking roads and, in some cases, throwing rocks.  At present, areas of engagement appear to be between Katwe & Kibuye along Entebbe Road and Ndeeba-Masaka Road, in Southern Kampala.  

Please note that while these are the current areas where caution is needed, such incidents have the potential to occur in other areas of Uganda at any time.  American Citizens are advised to use caution and to minimize their travel accordingly.  As always, stay alert and avoid large crowds and gatherings.

U.S. citizens are strongly encouraged to enroll in the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) to receive the latest security information.  You should keep all of your information in STEP up-to-date, including your current phone number and a current email address where you can be reached in case of an emergency.  

U.S. citizens should also consult the Country Specific Information Sheet for Uganda and the Worldwide Caution, both located on the Department of State's web site.  Up-to-date information on safety and security is available toll-free at 1-888-407-4747 from within the United States and Canada, or at regular toll rates at 1-202-501-4444 for callers from outside the United States and Canada, from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays). 

The U.S. Embassy in Kampala is located at 1577 Ggaba Road, Kampala, Uganda, Telephone: 256-414-259-791 or 256-414-306-001, Facsimile: 256-414-258-451. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Siasa Duni Exclusive: Video of Muammar Gaddafi's final moments on this earth

WARNING: The following content has been identified as being potentially offensive or inappropriate. Viewer discretion is advised. Click the link.

Gaddafi's final moments

Siasa Duni Exclusive: Video of Muammar Gaddafi's final moments on this earth

WARNING: The following content has been identified as being potentially offensive or inappropriate. Viewer discretion is advised.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Kalenjin Professionals Say 'NO' To An Uhuru Presidency

I'll just relay this exactly as I received it from my source, who attended the meeting last night...

I must give Ruto thumps up for giving his ears to the Kalenjin professionals. He did not only listen but gave them time and all ears open to air their views and opinions freely at a well attended meeting in Nairobi a day ago. Much applause to him!

Thanks to the professionals too. They did not minced, ate or swallowed their words. Neither did they beat around the bush nor did they make any excuses. They hit head-on, were frank and to the point. And without wasting time, I will go deep to the nitty gritty of what may have transpired in that meeting. I attended virtually and may have missed one or two things.

To say the truth, these professionals and on a foot note almost convince me to support Ruto's presidential candidacy. I am almost buying this line of thinking....

They told Ruto point blank, we support you fully but in this process our interest comes first. Three or so major points were raised during the meeting;- LAND, IDPs, Jobs, counties. In this long political journey, the professional told him we must have plan A and fall out plan. That we have to gauge our game. Whether it is a wining game or not. If the prospects of supporting you for presidency falls below par, WHAT NEXT?

Then came bullet, who among the "evil" top contenders will cater for our interests if things get awry? Will Mt Kenya allow us to deal with land injustices or will the lake have any interests in LAND. They did not waste time and told Ruto what we all know as an open secret. Mt. Kenya after fixing their OWN in every pillar of parastals, security chiefs and financial sector will not waste time but settle their IDPs right inside our lands. The Kalenjin and Land injustices will FOREVER never be solved!

Then came bombshell. "We will support you fully", but what IF..... AND I repeat, what IF Uhuru vs Raila come to the final contest? On whose side will Kalenjin support? They told him BLATANTLY; "We will go with a Raila presidency" Not because we want him, but to stop the over-advancement of MT. Kenya mafia. To minimize their interests overcoming our interests across the regions. As much as we loath Raila, our interests will have check and balances on Mt. Kenya with a Raila presidency.

In short, Ruto, was told we will not accept a UHURU PRESIDENCY! He was not only tongue-tied but awed how things were shaping up. Thanks to his quick eloquence and thoughts. He told his audience we will stick with UDM and nothing short of that.

Further to this, Ruto was told, while having powerful counties, the top presidential contenders might not bring much input taking into consideration tribal competition. The new constitution gives equity to all counties. We are glad to have Seven counties among the 47 counties. Mt. Kenya are not happy with this. In the recent past, Uhuru through his finance docket has tried to mutilate the county devolution bill. Trying to send a meager funds to the counties.

In a nutshell, who among the top contenders will in a "bytheway" have our interests taken care of? As much us we do not like Raila, he still stands the better option than the one who directly starves our future and current interests. As he (Raila) counters the Mt. Kenya mafia, our interests could be taken care of as a by-product.

Ruto was caught between a hard place and a rock. To either go with "his" enemy number one and follow the REALITY that is slowly and surely taking root among the PROFESSIONALS or go EAST and the community is used, diced and dumped.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Uganda Investment Authority website hacked (to Save Mabira Forest)

A statement from Hackers Uganda:

We have tried to keep all our operations on the low as much as possible but the corruption and impunity shown by our leaders is forcing us to take a stand for our land and ….our future….
We will continue to expose the corrupt elements in the system and also provide proof to society that they will use to hold the corrupt elements in the courts of law.We ask for legal assistance from the Uganda Law Society and hope we can win the fight against corrupt in our land.
UIA….tell the investors to honor the land and the people while carrying out their activities because as you know we live in global village and technology can allows us to reach them…protect the people…protect the land!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Not Another African Genocide!

Scenes from the mass demonstration protesting poor governance, shortage of fuel, Forex, unemployment, high prices and taxes in Malawi on Tuesday, 19th July 2011. Notice the vehicles of the DPP ruling party of president Dr. Bingu Wa Mutharika, running roughshod with young men carrying machetes, clubs and other weapons of mass destruction without any interruption from the police.

A Luo Love Letter

Dear Jaber,

I have excellently juxtaposed myself at my favourite corner at this juncture, this opportune time to narrate to you the status of my emotional condison and the posison of my heart vis-a-viz my lovely lady.

Atoti! It has been exactly two years, twenty three days, four hours and seven minutes from the day that my sight landed unavoidingly on your well endowed external outline. In all this time my feelings have surpassed everything to become true love. My love for you Nyako has grown deeper than the still waters of NAM-LOLWE the place where NYAMGODHO fished out the love of his life.

Nyathijomoko! As I write to you I am smiling, thinking of your beauty for which I have always thanked God. The day I met you, that your beauty struck me like lightening as my body felt weak and my heart skipped a beat. Speaking of God, I must admit that he must have held CONSULTATIONS with me albeit in my dreams because he created you in the very same way I have always described the woman of my dreams. Physically endowed, full chest, beautiful and big brown eyes, White teeth like CHA-CHIEW!

YAYE NYADUNDO! You are the love of my life, the reason of my being, the very essence of my existence. NYAR JO MWANDU! You enrich my life with your ever present and beautiful smile. You are my wealth and with you in my life the likes of BILL GATES and CARLOS SLIM are below my average. Baby you are the answer to all my questions, in fact with you, I have more answers than questions. You are the DOT in my email address and the only number on my mailing box. Sweetheart! you have made my life superliciously outstanding and because of you I have become the subject of envy to men like OBAMA, CLINTON, MANDELA and even JAKOM RAILA himself.

RAPUDO! When I first set my eyes on you I knew I wanted to be your slave. To run far and long, day and night for your heart more than KIPCHOGE KEINO could ever run for the GOLD. NYARJOKAOCHA! My love for you has grown exponentially and multi-purposely in all this time. I love you more than an OKUYU loves MBECHA; I value you more than a MAASAI values his CATTLE; I adore you more than a LUHYA adores his UGALI,CHICKEN and TEA; I want you more than RAILA wants to be PRESIDENT and I will always defend you more than a MERU would ever defend his MIRAA.

I luv you mang’eny.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Approved Terms and Conditions of Service for the Chairperson and Members of the Commission for Implementation of the Constitution (CIC)

Who is telling the truth? You be the judge.

Do you like the song 'Nwa Baby Ashawo' by Flavour?

If you're a fan of the song Nwa Baby Ashawo by Flavour, then the first thing you probably know is that you're not peculiar. The song has taken Africans by storm, and is receiving massive airplay in clubs and radio stations across most of the cities I have visited in East Africa.

If you thought you'd had enough, and escape home for some peace and quiet, think again; it's all over TV as well. So what is it with this song? Why is it so popular? And why can't we seem to get away from it? Well, the first clue really lies in the lyrics. Sample them below and tell me what you think...

Nwa baby, nye me fege (7x) – Baby Girl give me your vagina
Nwa baby, o kwa Nabania  - baby Girl, is this night u will give me
I don hammer no be small, now it's 
time to chop moneySomebody say Nabania – someone say it will happen this night
Na takwa ne fe omo wania – please lest chop money and enjoy
See the girls them plenty
Waka waka baby (oh yeah), wuru – walk about baby
Wuru baby (oh yeah) -
I go tell my mama, (oh yeah) I go – l will tell my mama
Tell my papa (oh yeah) - l will tell my Papa
And I go tell am say (oh yeah) - and l will tell them say
You be waka waka baby (oh yeah) – you are walk about Girl
You be wuru wuru baby (oh yeah) – you are cheating me Girl
Corner corner baby (oh yeah)
Sango sango baby (oh yeah) – you are not straight forward girl
Para rara baby (oh yeah) – l don’t really trust you baby
Oh baby sawaley -  Baby open the vagina for me to enter
Sawa sawa sawaley (2x) Open, Open, Open, 
Ashawo - Harlot
Kpokpotom kpomkpom, kporokotom  - it means nothing but just sound
Kpomkpom (2x)
Kpakolo kpa (3x), kpomkpom
Ojari kpokpo, ukwu nwa baby – Woman Vagina, Woman waist
Achukwu rege, kpom kpom – Shake ur waist, shake it well
Ashawo, awusha – Prostitute - Harlot
Awusha, ashawo – Prostitute - Harlot
Ashawo, awusha, kpom kpom
Eh eh eh eh eh eh, kpom kpom
Oh baby Sawaley
Sawa Sawa Sawaley (2x)
Nwa baby, nye me fege (7x) – Baby Girl give me your Vagina (7X)
Nwa baby, wa Nabania – Baby girl you will give it to me this night
Na soso walka I come dey go – all the time l move about
Everywhere I go, anai ti fe  - anywhere l go, l eat money, also eat Woman vagina
All my guys where una dey – all my friends that are there
From here to saloon hotel – we all move from hair Saloon to Hotel
See the girls them plenty – we see so many girls
Waka waka baby (oh yeah), wuru – they all moving around us, but they all are fake
Wuru baby (oh yeah)
I go tell my mama, (oh yeah) I go
Tell my papa (oh yeah)
And I go tell am say (oh yeah) 
You be waka waka baby (oh yeah)You be wuru wuru baby (oh yeah) –
Corner corner baby (oh yeah)
Sango sango baby (oh yeah)
Para rara baby (oh yeah)
Oh baby sawaley
Sawa sawa sawaley (2x)
Kpokpotom kpomkpom, kporokotom kpomkpom (2x)
Kpakolo kpa (3x), kpomkpom
Ojari kpokpo, ukwu nwa baby
Achukwu rege, kpom kpom
Ashawo, awusha
Awusha, ashawo
Ashawo, awusha, kpom kpom
Eh eh eh eh eh eh, kpom kpom
Oh baby Sawa lele
Sawa Sawa Sawale (2x)
Ala de no de, no de - there are different types of female breast
Ala ala de no de, de no de, Ala, we know they there are different types of breast
Ema na ala de no de, no de
Ala ala de no de, de no de, Ala
Ala mama - if the female breast is fine
Wera kagi ji de a ala - l will hold it with my hand
Ala mama - if the breast is fine and standing
Wero noge me jaya ala – l will use my mouth and suck it

Monday, July 18, 2011

Guess Who's Back + A Curious Clause in the proposed Anti Corruption Bill

Good afternoon, fellow Siasa Duni enthusiasts.

I have recently sojourned to visit the land of my ancestors, and ended up taking a complete road trip around East Africa. In my travels, I noticed a few things I had never paid attention to before, and some completely new ones left me a bit gobsmacked. For example, I found that you can walk right through the border at Busia into Kenya without as much as anyone asking for your papers, and continue with your life. The reverse is not true for entry into Uganda and Rwanda. These guys take security rather seriously. Is it a surprise then that acts of terrorism are more rampant in Kenya than they are in other neighbouring countries?

I also found that the road transport situation in Nairobi is greatly and vastly improved. You should've seen the look on my face when I landed smack in the middle of Waiyaki Way by cover of night. Kangemi was virtually unrecognisable! Then there were all those trees lining up the road, most noticeably on Moi Avenue. Museum Roundabout was a pleasant surprise, although it is now a one-way, and can no longer be accessed from the 'Bubbles' side. The same applies to several other roads, and it seems the Kampala model of unilaterally turning perfectly functioning two-way roads into one-ways has been adopted. In all, Nairobi roads offer a stunningly pleasant drive, and Mombasa Road is way up there for your 130KPH driving experiment.

So, there we have it: the score is Kenya 1-1Uganda, by way of road network and border security, respectively. Then there was the small matter of spending an entire night in the cold of Elburgon on account of a broken fuel injector. Hint: carry something very warm next you're in Elburgon. And if it's worth anything, forget Akamba Public Road Services Ltd. (Connecting East Africa) in the past where it belongs. It's not worth your tears.

Ok, enough about myself. I'm currently reading the final draft of the Independent Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission Bill, 2011, and I must say I'm more than pleasantly surprised. Also in the grapevine is that the CIC has handed said Bill to the Cabinet. The most immediately striking aspect of this Bill is that it will hand to P.L.O Lumumba unprecedented power, and will certainly be a shot in KACC's arm. But one curious clause sticks out like a sore thumb: "The Commission may, in undertaking investigations, intercept or tap communication." 

This got me thinking, and my question for you is: Do you agree that the government should tap or intercept communication in an effort to combat corruption? Please let us know.

If you haven't read the Independent Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission Bill, 2011, please send an empty e-mail titled IEACC Bill PDF to and I'll dispatch a copy to you as quickly as I can.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Public service to men - how to answer 5 tough questions

5 of the toughest questions a woman can ask a man are:

• What are you thinking about?
• Do you love me?
• Do I look fat?
• Do you think she is prettier than me?
• What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

a) Formula 1.
b) Football.
c) How fat you are.
d) How much prettier she is than you.
e) How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:

a) I suppose so.
b) Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c) That depends on what you mean by love.
d) Does it matter?
e) Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:

a) Compared to what?
b) I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c) A little extra weight looks good on you.
d) I've seen fatter.
e) Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:

a) Yes, but you have a better personality.
b) Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c) Not as pretty as you, when you were her age.
d) Define 'pretty'...
e) Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question #5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Subaru Imprezza WRX!"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines:

She: Would you get married again?
He: Definitely not!
She: Why not - don't you like being married?
He: Of course I do.
She: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
He: Okay, I'd get married again.
She: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He: Yes, I would.
She: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He: Where else would we sleep?
She: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Beautiful coloured lies of tribal stereotypes that define Kenyans

Has one Wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves his wife more

Has one wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves his girlfriend more

Has one wife
Has one girlfriend
But he loves the house maid more

Has two wives
Has two girlfriends
He loves the wife's sisters more

Has 4 wives
Has 0 girlfriends
He loves the house boy more

Has 4 wives
Has 4 girlfriends
He loves his neighbour's wife more

Has one, two, three, wives
Has several girlfriends
He loves the barmaid more

One wife, many girl friends
He will beat all of them

Two wives
One girlfriend
He loves his cows more

Four wives
No girl friend
Loves his miraa more

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Stop... hammer time!

In the two exclusive interviews he has had (with Kenyan media) since the violent arrest of Dr. Kiza Besigye, President Museveni has insisted that Besigye had the hammer first. Well, it seems someone's been lying to His Excellency...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You thought Muliro Gardens was bad? Click here to see how it's going down in Nyeri.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

End of days for 'End of Days' billboard

Dubai, 11th April - A billboard advertisement claiming that May 21, 2011 will be the "judgment day" according to the Bible, and which shocked many and dismayed others, will be removed, a senior official said on Sunday.

The large billboards put up on various busy roads of Dubai such as Al Garhoud and Al Jaffiliya, carries the sentence "the great and terrible day, who shall be able to stand". Marie Sheahan, Media Representative of Family Radio, who is campaigning to put up this advertisement about judgment day, told Gulf News that she and her husband are in town from the United States to advertise and "warn people about it, regardless of nationality, religion or anything else because this will affect everybody". Sheahan said the message has been softened for Muslim countries due to sensitivity.

"We contacted many billboard companies here regarding this advertisement, but they said they did not want to deal with it because it was sensitive. Then, we found one company, Emirates Neon Group (ENG) who agreed and helped us put up the advertisement after getting the permission. We felt it was good to advertise on billboards," she claimed. According to the web address mentioned on the advertisement, "This message is from the Bible speaking of Judgment Day where the believers are called up into heaven, a worldwide earthquake occurs and Judgment of the unsaved begins."

About how they [Family Radio] came to know that May 21 is the ‘judgement day', Sheahan said: "Well, it is hidden in the Bible, and not many people can realise it. Lots of research have gone into it. Therefore, we know it is 40 days away. We are doing this because in the Bible, we are commanded to warn people."

Mona Khamis Ebrahim, head of the Advertising Section of Dubai Municipality Planning Department, acknowledged the presence of the advertisement but said: "The municipality will remove these advertisements as soon as possible. This was an unintentional mistake, especially [in view of the fact] that the section receives and licenses thousands of advertisements daily. Anything in contradiction with the Islamic religion is not permitted to be advertised."

Commenting on the claims made by the organisation, a pastor from a church in Dubai, who did not wish to be named, said: "We cannot pinpoint the final day. Only God knows it". Kasheef Abu bakr, a Dubai resident, said: "Announcements like this should not be allowed by the Municipality, and companies flouting the law should be heavily fined. The advert is absurd, outrageous and ridiculous."

Family Radio's official name is Family Stations, Inc. It is a non-profit corporation headquartered in Oakland, California. It began in 1958 with the express purpose of sending the Christian Gospel into the world. It broadcasts in more than 30 of the major languages of the world so that as many people as possible can hear the true Gospel in their own language. Family Radio has an intense desire to be altogether faithful to the teachings of the Bible, both in the conduct of its employees and in the Biblical messages it sends into the world.

Monday, April 11, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: Gbagbo arrested by French special forces

Troops loyal to Ivory Coast's legit leader Alassane Ouattara have captured his besieged rival Laurent Gbagbo after breaching his residence earlier today.

Talking to the AFP, France's ambassador Jean-Marc Simon said, "Laurent Gbagbo was arrested by the Republican Forces of Ivory Coast, and taken to the Golf Hotel," he said, referring to the internationally-recognised president's fortified base camp in the city. However, conflicting reports reaching Siasa Duni indicate that he was captured by French special forces, who have handed him over to the rebels. Toussaint Alain, a Paris-based adviser to Gbagbo, told Reuters, “Gbagbo has been arrested by French special forces in his residence and has been handed over to the rebel leaders.” Earlier, witnesses had reported seeing pro-Ouattara forces entering Gbagbo's besieged residential compound, while French and UN armoured vehicles deployed on a road leading to the complex.

How easily we forget!

My heart stopped when I heard William Ruto say, "This is like a movie!” It wouldn't have hurt if he added, "Sit down and shut up! How dare you!"

Saturday, April 9, 2011

How Kenya turned up at the ICC in The Emperor's New Clothes

The first formal appearance of Kenyans before International Criminal Court was bound to trigger different emotions. There are those struck by shame that Kenya is now in the company of disgraced nations that have, thanks to failed judicial systems and atrocious records of crimes against humanity, served as pick-up stations for ICC trans-world buses.

ICC knocked on our door after getting an invitation letter from the President and the Prime Minister. They invited them because many Kenyans had no faith in their judicial system and distrusted the weak-kneed police, which was also part of the mess. We also were buoyed that the judges would neither be Kalenjin, Luo, Kikuyus nor Luhya. But today, albeit too late, special tribunal is gaining currency

The fact that three years later we wanted to pull out, delay its process or derail it altogether, is immaterial. Whether the country healed or not, we had shown we were comfortable with a legal process over which we could pick the policeman, lawyer and judge. That is what Kibaki told the world when he handpicked a nominee for Chief Justice, Attorney General and Director of Public Prosecutions while en-route to the African Union Summit in Addis Abba to claim ICC should leave Kenya alone because it now had an honourable court system, hallowed home-grown investigators and a saintly man at State House, whose first and second names are ‘Beyond Reproach’ and ‘Integrity’. His choice for Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka — for obvious reasons — was stomping African capitals lobbying for deferral. Raila Odinga, understandably, was left out because they did not trust him. It turns out the world community may have given Kibaki a hearing if they were reading from the same script.

You see, Kibaki and his team stumble often because they believe now that we are in peacetime; they have devalued power sharing so much that the rest of the world should go by their terms – not the commitment they signed before Kofi Annan. Also, most regretably, a lot seemed to have depended more on our individual political inclinations and personal leadership preferences than the principles of law. There are also those who felt the appearances may lead to possible recast of the image we have enjoyed as Africa’s island of peace and cornerstone of political stability. In the six, we literally stood naked before the international community to be audited for what took place in 2008.

If we had fixed our institutions of governance before the sham elections in 2007, which were muddied by President Kibaki’s executive hand, we probably would not today be clients of ICC, upon whom foreign lawyers have struck a gold mine. Their siphoning pipe goes right into our Treasury.

Because of playing money-business with governance, we are like a bunch of monkeys one of which has a bell tied to the neck. The more the one with ringing bell runs towards his colleagues for ‘help’, the noise scares the others and they run further away. But others run towards him, not to help, but to try and decipher what it is that they have.
We are after all monkeys, the difference being only a few have bells on the necks. I suspect some of those at The Hague were driven by curiosity, not will to look sympathetic to the suspects, over what will happen to them, and also the prospect of political capital by seeming to have stood with them. There are of course those whose reaction was to ask what became of the victims of post-election killings, dispossession and displacements. They may be few because many look like they have accepted the victims were the unfortunate pawns or sacrificial lambs in the game and altar of politics. But for others, the day may just have raised hope the victims may finally get justice and the suspects fair process in court.

Now let us digress to the suspects as called by the Lady Judge. Whether they are innocent or guilty is a matter for the court to decide. Until then they are presumed innocent. The court has three distinct sides: prosecution, defense and the Bench. Whether the suspects genuinely believe the allegations were influenced by Raila or were part of a 2012 conspiracy against them, is a matter for chest thumping in political rallies in Nairobi, not ICC courtroom. The prosecution defends its allegations using evidence; the suspects and their lawyers disparage the claims on account of law; while the judges arbitrate in the tussle and deliver the ruling. Like in any other court, impressions matter and how one carries himself before the judge, matters even more.

Now it is suicidal to turn your wrath on the ‘referee’ or to show disrespect for the court. It is also foolhardy to be accused of being a warlord and to seemingly look like one out to prove this is true by arriving complete with a ‘delegation’ of fire-splitters.

Whether the Ocampo Six are innocent or guilty, they must remember ICC has a bad impression of them. They can just make it worse or better for themselves by appreciating the new phase of battle will be won or lost in the court-room – not political rallies and prayers. And in the courtroom, you do not need a cheering squad; they will only make your case worse.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What is eating Uhuru Kenyatta?

Desperation and fear are dangerous things. They have turned Uhuru Kenyatta into a political rabid dog with infected fangs biting everything, particularly his short, curled tail. I don’t blame Uhuru. For a man who was born at and grew up in State House, one can understand how it feels when faced with the most serious criminal charges in the entire world.

To be accused by the ICC, following credible investigations, of having committed mass murder, mass rape, mass displacement and some of the worst inhumane and degrading acts against innocent civilians isn’t a laughing matter. If convicted, even only of one charge, Uhuru faces life in jail. So, it is understandable that he is scared, confused and desperate.

However, Uhuru isn’t Jomo Kenyatta. Those comparing his current tribulations with those of the Kapenguria Six aren’t just being unfair to history and Kenyans; they aren’t being fair to Uhuru and his late father. Uhuru grew up in extreme privilege and opulence. He has never lacked anything in life. I have done some research on this son of Jomo and discovered nothing compelling. There isn’t anything remarkable about Uhuru; no achievement worth mentioning. From nursery school to college, the son of Jomo performed below average. As far as I can gather, he was neither good in sports nor academics; he wasn’t a gifted speaker or a debater. Nor is he now. In other words, it is fully understandable that, faced with the most serious criminal charges in the history of the world, Uhuru is fumbling, flailing and crumbling.

But to try and cast Uhuru as some kind of liberator or freedom fighter who is being persecuted by his political enemies is taking the joke too far. Kenyans aren’t complete idiots. The other day, Uhuru’s cousin Beth Mugo and other PNU/KKK acolytes compared him to the Kapenguria six. Let’s get one thing right: Jomo Kenyatta, Achieng’ Oneko, Kungu Karumba, Bildad Kaggia, Paul Ngei and Fred Kubia were not sent to Kapenguria because they had butchered innocent Kenyan civilians; they were jailed by the British colonialists because they allegedly belonged to the Mau Mau movement, which was fighting for the liberation of Kenya. But Uhuru and his friend William Ruto aren’t in that league. Uhuru and Ruto belong to the league of alleged robber barons and murderers. At least that’s what Luis Moreno-Ocampo’s evidence shows.

 Make no mistake: there was no freedom or liberation Uhuru was fighting for in 2007/8. The Mungiki vigilante group that the ICC Prosecutor has accused him of having used to brutalise and butcher innocent civilians isn’t a liberation movement. Uhuru and his gang of supporters know that the 2007 presidential election was massively rigged. He also knows that there was a dispute over who won the presidential elections. Unless he wants to rewrite history – and we will not allow him – there is no reasonable Kenyan who believes that Mwai Kibaki won and Raila Odinga lost. But more fundamentally, Uhuru knows that Raila Odinga and the ODM do not work for the ICC in any capacity. Raila Odinga isn’t responsible for investigating any crimes committed in Kenya. Raila isn’t in charge of the Kenya Police, the CID, the ministry of internal security or the State Law Office. Everyone knows that it was PNU and the state security agencies it controls like the NSIS that submitted evidence implicating Ruto and Henry Kosgey in post-election violence. Moreover, Uhuru must be aware that he is facing charges of crimes against humanity as an individual. The Kikuyu community hasn’t been charged. Nor has the PNU or the KKK.

Beth Mugo claims that as a mother, she holds the view that no Kenyan child should be tried on foreign soil. This is interesting. The last time I checked, Beth Mugo hadn’t stated the same thing with respect to the Kenyans who were abducted and smuggled to Uganda and the United States of America by their own government without due process. There were no charges, no bail hearings, and no extradition proceedings; no habeas corpus. Why hasn’t Beth Mugo demanded the release and return of Al Amin Kimathi who is facing trumped-up charges in Uganda?

On 16 December 2008, both the President and the PM signed an agreement for the implementation on the recommendations of the Waki Commission. The Government committed itself to the establishment of the Special Tribunal by 1 February 2009 to try the PEV perpetrators. The Waki Commission report was unanimously adopted by Parliament on 29 January 2009. However, on 29 February 2009, Uhuru and Ruto ganged up and had the Special Tribunal Bill rejected by Parliament. They demanded the ICC. Well, they got the ICC.

Why are they now crying wolf? If they are as brave as they claim, why are they panicking? If Uhuru and Ruto have credible evidence concerning the crimes against humanity committed in Kenya, why can’t they just submit it to the ICC? To Uhuru and Ruto: go ahead and implicate anybody you want. But please, save us the childish rants and threats.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Irony: Kiplagat summoned by TJRC

Grinning Kiplagat denies participation in the Wagalla Masaacre.
Bethuel Kiplagat, the immediate former Chairman of the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation Commission (TJRC) is among 42 potential witnesses summoned to appear at the commission’s first public hearings in Garissa, beginning next Tuesday. 

Others include former Cabinet Ministers David Mwiraria and G.G Kariuki, former Chief of General Staff General Joseph Kibwana, North Eastern Provincial Commissioner James Ole Serian and former PC Francis Sigei.

Kiplagat who resigned from the TJRC in November last year after public pressure and all those summoned served in various capacities in the government during the infamous 1984 massacre of civilians at the Wagalla airstrip. “You are hereby notified that you have been identified by the Commission as a potential witness who may have information that is useful to the commission. You have a right to secure legal representation if necessary,” said TJRC Secretary Patricia Nyaudi in a statement.

Residents remember the massacre of more than 5,000 men from the Degodia clan who were reportedly killed by security forces during the Degodia/Ajuran clashes of the 70s and 80s. At the Wagalla airstrip where many are said to have been shot and tortured, victims lamented that the state had not acknowledged the massacre in 27 years.

The hearings to be launched at the Garissa Primary School grounds on Monday would be rolled out nonstop across the country, until September, winding up in Western and Mt Elgon regions. After the hearings in Northern and upper Eastern regions, TJRC will move to Nairobi and Nyanza, Central and Rift Valley, lower Eastern and Coast, and then conclude in Western and Mt Elgon. The commission has so far collected 20,000 statements and 303 memoranda across the country. Thirty percent of all the statements came from women; among their concerns were sexual violations and economic marginalisation.

The Nyayo torture chambers victims, northern and upper eastern Kenya victims, Mau forest evictees, the Nubian and Ogiek communities have in recent times issued the commission with their memoranda. These communities are seeking redress as well as compensation where applicable.