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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th
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A Luo Love Letter



Dear Jaber,

I have excellently juxtaposed myself at my favourite corner at this juncture, this opportune time to narrate to you the status of my emotional condison and the posison of my heart vis-a-viz my lovely lady.

Atoti! It has been exactly two years, twenty three days, four hours and seven minutes from the day that my sight landed unavoidingly on your well endowed external outline. In all this time my feelings have surpassed everything to become true love. My love for you Nyako has grown deeper than the still waters of NAM-LOLWE the place where NYAMGODHO fished out the love of his life.

Nyathijomoko! As I write to you I am smiling, thinking of your beauty for which I have always thanked God. The day I met you, that your beauty struck me like lightening as my body felt weak and my heart skipped a beat. Speaking of God, I must admit that he must have held CONSULTATIONS with me albeit in my dreams because he created you in the very same way I have always described the woman of my dreams. Physically endowed, full chest, beautiful and big brown eyes, White teeth like CHA-CHIEW!

YAYE NYADUNDO! You are the love of my life, the reason of my being, the very essence of my existence. NYAR JO MWANDU! You enrich my life with your ever present and beautiful smile. You are my wealth and with you in my life the likes of BILL GATES and CARLOS SLIM are below my average. Baby you are the answer to all my questions, in fact with you, I have more answers than questions. You are the DOT in my email address and the only number on my mailing box. Sweetheart! you have made my life superliciously outstanding and because of you I have become the subject of envy to men like OBAMA, CLINTON, MANDELA and even JAKOM RAILA himself.

RAPUDO! When I first set my eyes on you I knew I wanted to be your slave. To run far and long, day and night for your heart more than KIPCHOGE KEINO could ever run for the GOLD. NYARJOKAOCHA! My love for you has grown exponentially and multi-purposely in all this time. I love you more than an OKUYU loves MBECHA; I value you more than a MAASAI values his CATTLE; I adore you more than a LUHYA adores his UGALI,CHICKEN and TEA; I want you more than RAILA wants to be PRESIDENT and I will always defend you more than a MERU would ever defend his MIRAA.

I luv you mang’eny.
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