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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Don’t be vague; go to Hague! - a case of shooting oneself in the foot


In 2009, dishonest politicians unanimously voted in parliament that Uhuru, Ruto et al should go to Hague. Hansard Reports from the Kenya National Assembly on diverse dates between January and December 2009 make for very interesting reading.

At page 4,633 of February 3, part of the contribution by the Minister for Nairobi Metropolitan Development, Mr M Kilonzo, reads, “In fact there is a phrase going on which is called ‘Don’t be vague; go for Hague.' I flip through and come to page 4,636. Here is Mr Cyrus Jirongo saying, “Those who perpetrated violence are in Government… If we are genuine and we want these people to be punished, we should allow them to go to The Hague.” Over page, Mr Jirongo goes on, “I urge the Minister for Justice, and National Cohesion to let those people go to The Hague if her conscience pricks her correctly.”

As I move on, I see page 4,638 where Ms Rachel Shebesh says, “I see no reason why, if people were genuine, you would tell me that going to The Hague can bring peace to this country… I see no way in which you can be sincere.” I am now looking at February 4, 2009, at page 4,723. Here is Mr Lewis Nguyai. He says,I also say there is need to end the culture of impunity… I would propose that we should not be vague. We want the key perpetrators of this particular atrocities (sic) to go to The Hague.” I recall Mr Nguiyai was recently Uhuru Kenyatta’s witness at The Hague. I begin to get it, I think.

Enter Ms Elizabeth Ongoro: “Through setting up a local tribunal, we will be telling our citizens that we are brothers, we have what it takes to solve our problems.” Mr Lucas Chepkitony differs: “Let us try the ICC!” Ms Cecily Mbarire agrees with him: “We have spent too much time on tribunals and commissions. I oppose the Bill [to set up a local tribunal]”. Thomas Mwadeghu: “Ni lazima hao watu waende Hague. Wacha waende wahukumiwe huko (These people must go to The Hague. Let them go and be tried there!)” Mr Johnstone Muthama: “Jaji atakuwa Mkamba, Mkikuyu… ni vyema tugeuze mbinu. Ndege zitakuja, watapelekwa kule na kuiacha nchi yetu na amani (The judge will be Kamba or Kikuyu… we must change tact. Aeroplanes will come; they will go and leave us a peaceful country.)”

Finally, I look at the voting. Among those who voted against a local tribunal are listed as the following: Chepchumba, Cheruiyot, Ethuro, Gaichuchie, Gitau, Jirongo, Kaino, Kaloki, Kamau J.I., Kamau J. M., Kambi, Kapondi, Kariuki, Kathuri, Kigen, Kiilu, Kilonzo J.K., Kilonzo J.M., Kiuna, Kivuti, Koech, Konchela, Dr Kones, Ms Kones, Kuttuny, Lagat, Langat, Lessonet, Letimalo, Linturi, Litole, M’Mithiaru, Machage, Magerer, Mbau, Mbugwa, Mututho, Mung’aro, Munyaka, Muoki I. M., Muoki D. M., Mureithi, Murgor, Musyimi, Mwangi, Mwathi, Mwiru, Nguiyai, Njuguna, Onyancha, Ottichilo, Ruto, Sambu, Sirma, Waibara, Waititu, Wambugu, Washiali, Were and Yakub.

I recall the night President Kibaki, PM Raila and Martha Karua pleaded with MPs for a local tribunal for PEV but to no avail. There is no mention of Raila Odinga on that list.

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