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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

Waluke's Wife Threatens To Commit Suicide After Raising Only Ksh16,000 Out Of His 727 Million Fine.

Wife of jailed Sirisia Member of Parliament John Waluke says she regrets starting an initiative through her mobile number to raise bail cash for her husband.

Mrs Roseline Nakhanu Waluke is now threatening to commit suicide after failing to raise the Ksh727 million required to save her husband. So far, she has only managed a paltry Ksh16,000 from wellwishers.

Roseline has apparently been undergoing stress since her husband was jailed. According to neighbours, she might be on the verge of a complete meltdown after being mocked by the very people she turned to for help.

Mrs Waluke can't understand why she is being ridiculed after asking wellwishers to contribute the hefty fine to free her husband. She is puzzled that most calls are abusive and the rest are from people just curious to know how much she has managed to collect so far. Others call only to inform her that they can't contribute towards the freedom of a thief.

She now regrets starting the fundraiser because what she is going through is apparently worse than the pain of losing her husband to the criminal justice system, and has decided to leave hers and her husband's lives in God's hands. But the fundraising drive will continue, she says.

John Waluke was jailed alongside Grace Wakhungu of the famous Awori family for looting millions of shillings from the National cereals and Produce Board (NCPB). If he fails to raise the ksh727 million required for bail, he faces 67 years in jail. Grace, on the other hand, managed to raise Ksh500 million of her fine in a record-breaking two-hour family lunch. 

The moral of the story? Don't punch above your weight. Better yet, don't punch with rich kids.

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