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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

If you're ever under pressure from your first wife, just publicy deny ever having a secnd wife. Or a daughter.

Kenya's normally mild-mannered President Mwai Kibaki yesterday called a rare news conference to deny persistent media reports of a second wife which he said had put him in a "foul mood".

The 77-year-old Kibaki, who has seldom addressed journalists directly since coming to power in 2002, was incensed at versions by some newspapers and politicians that he has a second relationship with a woman called Mary Wambui. "You know and I know and everybody else knows that I have only one dear wife, Lucy here. . . but the media keeps repeating about my having another wife or wives," he said at his State House residence in Nairobi, flanked by his wife. "I have gotten into this very foul mood after listening to some statement . . . I want to say quite frankly anyone who is bent on that course will see me in court. And we shall deal with him, no other way whatsoever," he added, referring to Paul Muite, who had spoken about a second wife.

Lucy Kibaki, on her part, famous for a volatile temper that once led her to slap a civil servant who mistakenly introduced her as Wambui, warned media she would not tolerate such reports. "You have been tormenting us. I don't know what you get out of it," she said, before pointing at a cameraman from KTN. "I nearly came to your studio last night to attack you the way I did the Nation," she added, referring to a previous incident where she stormed into a newsroom. She has also been known in the past to knock the teeth off Imenti Central MP Gitobu Imanyara and VP Kalonzo Musyoka.

The Kibakis said they would sue anyone who discusses the matter publicly.

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