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Monday, November 16, 2009

The Revolution has failed, but we will televise it anyway

Listening around, I don’t hear lots of buzz about Big Brother Africa 4. Have you heard anyone mention a favourite housemate in passing? Or something someone in the house said?

Is it the annoying voice of Big Brother who turns out to be Big Sister and sounds more like a strict school matron than anyone you'd want to confide in? (Was this the "revolution" promised?) Is it the new robotic host from Nigeria who’s about as interesting as watching paint dry? Was it the ridiculous decision to have a house filled just with men in the first week? Or was it because in their quest to have a "revolution" they forgot the basics?

First of all, allowing housemates to conspire about nominations ensures that that's ALL they talk about. All the bloody time! So and so nominated me, so and so has an alliance, so and so may leave on Sunday... Come on now, talk about something, anything else!

Secondly, and this one took some time to register because it's so discouraging… they scrapped shower hour! Why, pray tell? The show is rated 18 and is on cable television, what’s the problem? Wasn’t that really the whole point of Big Brother? No place to hide? If a show ever had a hook, then shower hour is to Big Brother what bad singing is to Idols... aren’t the auditions the funniest part of the show?

Think about past BBAs. Weren’t people thrown off the show depending on how much, or how little, they chose to reveal during the highly rated hour? Remember Bruna, the gorgeous talented Angolan singer who was evicted because of showering in a bikini? It seems that Africa wanted to see more. Gaetano made it all the way to the last three and I’m pretty sure that it had a lot to do with shower hour. He is legendary because of winning the genetic lottery, if you know what I mean. Talking of which, a little bird told me that the Nigerians are to be blamed for the scrapping of shower hour. And it seems they were rewarded with 3 slots in the show as penance for exposing them to that brand of "immorality".

Reality shows are known for different things. Fear Factor is like the name suggests. On this show, the rule of thumb is the more slippery, slimy and disgusting it is, the higher the chances that it will be served up for dinner. Watching people eat creepy crawlies really works for some people, apparently.

The Apprentice is best known for its famous host. Let’s face it: Without Donald Trump, there is no Apprentice. Martha Stewart gave it a go and it was a total flop. Trump fell out with her after she said his show is a hit because of him and that she could never hope to match his success. He even trademarked his famous line, "You’re fired!" Arrogant, but so true.

Back at the ranch, did you watch The Apprentice: Africa a couple years ago? It was the saddest thing to ever make it on television. Please don’t do that to us again!

Yes, every show has its selling point. America’s Next Top Model would lose its spark without Tyra Banks, and what's Idols without Simon Cowell? And true to cycle, I suspect that as Big Brother Africa winds down, we're set for another serving of that old comedy show, Idols Africa...

1 comment:

Biche said...

I actually thought BBA4 was pretty interesting at first, but the allowance for nomination discussions and alliances ensured that all the rowdiest(funnest)people got nominated first. That wasn't cool!