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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th
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Where is Lucy Kibaki?

Just the other day, the lads here at Siasa Duni were having a hot debate that I couldn't help over hearing: where has the man-slapping, tantrum-throwing, TV studio-storming First Lady disappeared to? Good question, because the last time we heard from her was a resounding slap from the cheeks of one Gitobu Imanyara, which reverberated throughout the city. But Gitobu, being a Meru man, could not and would not take it with a stiff upper lip like the lesser men before him; whereupon he floored Lady Lucy with a salvo that sent her sprawling across the floor, in clear view of Kenya's CEO and Thief-in-Chief (who apparently was watching all this unfold). So I decided to investigate and find out exactly where our Lady of the Spank is.

You see, I know people who know people who hear things. Before very long, I got a lead. Apparently, Lucy is holed up in State House and is having her teeth done. Now, whether the teeth were misplaced during that confrontation with Imanyara or whether she is growing old and her teeth are falling out is yet to be confirmed. Either way, she is terrified of the world seing her toothless, hence her absence. One of our readers, "Mike Tyson", asked in the comments section how many teeth she lost to Gitobu's power punch. Several, it would seem...
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Amkeni Ndugu Zetu! said…
Woowee, folks! Apparently this post touched a LOT of raw nerves, and I've been called all sorts of things for expressing my opinion. For that, it gets to be the top post for another week! I'll just sample one comment which I think speaks for the rest. Word of advice: if you don't like Siasa Duni, or find the content unacceptable to you, there are plenty other blogs to choose from; go there! Ha ha ha ha...

And now I quote my semi-literate commentator (SIC):

"FOE SOMEONE TO PICK ON A WOMAN, YOU MUST BE A COWARD AND A DISGRACE TO YOUR MOTHER. SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR POSTS WHICH JUST SHOWS HOW BACKWARD YOUU ARE. BY THE WAY IF YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED,AS YOU CONTINUE YOUR ODM ANTIQUES, THE US IS WARMING UP TO RAILA AND IF YOU HAD A KINDERGATEN BRAIN YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS"
6 May 2008 at 10:16
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