Nile Special: Strictly Not for Sale to Foreigners (Or How Mohammad Won the Top Prize in A Beer Competition During Ramadhan And Caught Hell for It)

DRINK.

SMS THE CODE TO 8008.

WIN.

The instructions were relatively straight forward. But in a grand and most audacious display of corporate Uganda operating with total impunity,  Nile Special (“Official beer of the FIFA World Cup™”) now finds itself trapped between the Devil and the deep blue sea, embroiled in a fraud of unprecedented magnitude. The folks at Nile Breweries could not have chosen a worse time to roll out this their most dishonest scheme. I’m going to linger not so much on the sheer awkwardness of Mohammad Yahfoufi‏, presumably a Muslim, winning bigly in Nile Special’s “Tulumbe FIFA World Cup™ Nalo” promotion (moreover during Ramadhan) as on the sinking realisation that Nile Special did a proper railroad job on the poor chap, who has now taken to Twitter in pursuit of justice. He is evidently also a pragmatic man because he is simultaneously seeking legal redress to force Nile Special to take him to Russia like they promised. So how did Nile Special find itself in this quandary?

In his tweet, Mohammad doth protest much. 

This forms the legal basis for his claim. According to a letter dispatched by his legal representatives dated 26^th May 2018 and addressed to the Head of Marketing at Nile Breweries (marked received on 28^th May), on 18^th of May, Mohammad was notified by Brand Manager Francis (other name undisclosed) that he had won a ticket to travel and watch the World Cup in Russia, courtesy of the “Tulumbe FIFA World Cup™ Nalo” promotion. Subsequently, Nile Breweries went ahead and caused a publication in The New Vision newspaper dated Monday 21^st May 2018 to the effect that Mohammad had indeed won said ticket. According to the lawyers, “this not only promoted your competition, but also enhanced your brand value.”

And then things go Pete Tong and completely tits up.

Samuel Hooper, NBL Head of Marketing

Quoth the attorneys:

However, to our client’s dismay, he was on the 21^st May, 2018, notified that he was ineligible to win the ticket because he was not a Ugandan citizen. The Terms & Conditions you invoked were neither annexed to your advert of the promotion nor made public for all interested participants to acquaint themselves with the same. You only belatedly attempted to change the rules of the game through a Facebook post on 18^th May 2018 at 11:16 a.m.

Our client contends that this shifting of goalposts offends the fairness and transparency principles of the law on promotions because the said terms and conditions were neither disclosed on the print version of the promotion advert nor made any reference to Facebook as a medium of access to said terms and conditions governing the promotion.

Consequently, our instructions are to demand that you reinstate our client’s position as a winner of the said World Cup ticket together with all its associated privileges together with our legal fees of UGX. 5,000,000 (Uganda Shillings Five Million only).

Should you fail to heed this demand within 14 days of the date of receipt of this letter, we are under instructions to immediately institute civil proceedings against your company seeking legal redress, damages and cost of the suit.

Now the narrative lost deep in the catacombs of this cosmic clusterfuck, I find, is the last vestige of Nile Breweries as a puissant market leader. Back in the days of Mike Olsen as Marketing Director, under-the-cap promotions were unheard of; as a matter of fact they were duly frowned upon, something that was not done in the Nile Breweries stable. They were the preserve of “cheap” brands (read Bell Lager). So what has changed with the injection of new blood down at Plot 6-10 Port Bell Road, Kampala?

Personally, I can't wait to see how this pans out in court. It might help to finally set a precedent for predatory corporate T&Cs, and should make for very interesting class action as I’m dead certain there are many others who have had a run-in with corporates abusing terms and conditions, but have never pursued legal redress.

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So during my last visit to Kampala, I popped down to Plot 100 Luthuli Avenue, Bugolobi, with much pomp and ceremony, in an attempt to check on my erstwhile colleagues holed therein. But alas and alack, that courtesy call fell apart right out of the gate because I completely failed to trace Fideli Management Company Branding, Printworks & Advertising Agency Limited—formerly a vendor of zea mays and assorted grain—at their snazzy $6000-per-moth offices.

Forsooth, where can one find them?

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In my perambulations through these excellent Internets, I did come across an article attempting to resolve an age-old debate: do we need to redefine the copywriter title? In other words, is “copywriter” the right word for the job? Short of reproducing it here in toto (because I cannot paraphrase it any better than its original form), I will just provide the link so that you can join the debate.