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Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

BREAKING NEWS: Embakasi MP assassinated











Newly elected Embakasi MP Mugabe Were (ODM) was fatally shot dead in a suspected assassination on Tuesday at around 1 AM Kenyan time. Police in Nairobi said they were not ruling out "plotical motives". Mugabe Were was shot as he drove up to the gate of his house in Woodley Estate just after midnight, police spokesman Eric Kiraithe said. "We are treating it as a murder but we are not ruling out anything including political motives," he said. "We are urging everyone to remain calm."

Surprisingly enough, the assilant(s) did not steal anything from the legislator, but instead shot his twice in the head as he reached the gate of his house. ODM spokesman Tony Gachoka said that Were may have been targeted by political foes. "We want no stone unturned in the investigation, but we suspect foul play." However, Government officials are yet to comment. Hours after Were's death, rival ethnic gangs began fighting in Kibera, not far from where he was shot. A witness saw two corpses, with cuts on the head and neck, and another man badly hurt after being forcibly circumcised.

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