Skip to main content

Featured

Where the Hell is Moses Kuria?

It seems Moses Kuria, the man of many portfolios, embarked on a whirlwind adventure through the halls of government, only to find himself in a comedic conundrum. Starting off strong as the Cabinet Secretary for Investments, Trade, and Industry, he was the talk of the town. But alas, fate had other plans. In a twist fit for a sitcom, Kuria found himself shuffled over to the Public Service portfolio faster than you can say "bureaucratic shuffle". Then, the plot thickened! In a classic case of diplomatic drama, the US Trade Representative, Katherine Tai, decided to give Kuria a cold shoulder after cancelling not one, but two meetings with him. The reason? His "foul mouth". Oh, the irony! It seems even the most seasoned politicians can't escape the wrath of a sharp tongue. Since then, Kuria has seemingly vanished into thin air, keeping a low profile that would make even Bigfoot jealous. Rumour has it he's taken up residence in a cozy cave somewhere, pondering th

"You can all f*&% off... I'm president now!"

Kenya's Commander-in-thief, Mwai Kibaki, has given the world the political equivalent of the middle finger by obstinately naming a cabinet, despite on-going efforts to mediate the current impasse that is Kenyan politics, and which was brought about by his daylight robbery of the General Election. This announcement came only minutes before AU chairman and Ghanaian President John Kuffuor touched down at JKIA to help find a political solution to the festering problem.

"I am pleased to announce part of my Cabinet," said the thief now ruling Kenya against the wishes of its citizens as he appointed his 17 lieutenants. "In forming the Cabinet, I have considered the importance of keeping the country united, peaceful and prosperous under a strong, broad-based leadership. I am accordingly, naming the first half of my Cabinet." And this is the lot Kibaki conjured:

1 Vice President and Minister for Home Affairs - Kalonzo Musyoka
2 Minister of State for Provincial Administration & Internal Security, OP - George Saitoti
3 Minister of State for Defence, Office of the President - Yussuf Haji
4 Minister of State for Special Programmes, OP - Naomi Shaban
5 Minister for Public Service, Office of the President - Asman Kamama
6 Minister for Finance - Amos Kimunya
7 Minister for Education - Sam Ongeri
8 Minister for Foreign Affairs - Moses Wetangula
9 Minister for Local Government - Uhuru Kenyatta
10 Minister for Information and Communications - Samuel Poghisio
11 Minister for Water and Irrigation - John Munyes
12 Minister for Energy - Kiraitu Murungi
13 Minister for Roads and Public Works - John Michuki
14 Minister for Science and Technology - Noah Wekesa
15 Minister for Justice and Constitutional Affairs - Martha Karua
16 Minister for East African Community - Wilfred Machage
17 Minister for Transport - Chirau Ali Mwakwere

No sooner had this announcement been made on state-owned KBC than violent protests broke out in Kisumu. Eldoret was also reported to be tense. Despite Kibaki’s promise during his campaigns that he would name a youthful, clean-hands cabinet, he still retained his trusted old lieutenants, most notably John Michuki and Kiraitu Murungi, who has previously been sacked as a minister over a huge corruption scandal. Many analysts believe the move by Kibaki to name a cabinet now is a provocative act, and many youths are not happy with it. The youth constitute more than 60% of all registered voters in Kenya.

No-one from the main opposition party was appointed and members of the party have said they will not recognise the new cabinet. "It has absolutely no legal standing, having been nominated by a president who himself is illegitimately sworn into office, completely in violation of our constitution," said Anyang Nyongo, secretary-general of the opposition Orange Democratic Movement (ODM).

Comments

Popular Posts