More sensational NEWS From the rumour mill

Continuing on the path of annoyance and my pledge to be an irritant to Kibaki apologists and homeguards who have not only raped Kenya but are now ensuring a bloodbath (are their "masters" demanding blood for the "election victory"?), I have a juicy update on the Lucy-Jimmy-Imanyara story. It has now sprouted to encapsulate Judy in a tale that we here at Siasa Duni are already voting story of the year. When I broke it exclusively last week, I was called all sorts of names, but my sources assure me that the story is spot-on. Evidence of this was on Classic 105's one O'clock news bulletin, where Imanyara came out to discuss his beating. Credit to the man, he retaliated...

Meanwhile we now hear not only did Lucy "injure" Jimmy, but our source informs us that she actually shot him along with First Daughter Judy after they demanded that their father stops destroying their future. Once again, I will let history bear me out on this. All I can say is that the Kibaki family is now reaping from the curse of the stiff bodies (including children and infants) that have been burnt alive, hacked to death, beheaded and buried headless, and all Kenyan blood that has been shed because Kibaki deemed it fit to steal elections and punish protesters, who were just demanding their rights.

At the moment, Lucy is in solitary confinement, which explains why nobody has seen her in public after the rigging. It is usually not possible for Kibaki to travel as he did to Ethiopia without his wife.This deranged personality has also immobilised Gitobu Imanyara as well as leaving her children in critical condition. It is not clear whether the junior Kibakis will pull through, what with reports indicating that the are outside the country seeking medical attention. The Imanyara slapping episode has been a poorly kept secret after the security descended on him with a thorough beating (kipigo cha nyoka). As things stand, Lucy is soon poised to save Kenya (knowingly or otherwise) by next directing whatever firearm she has at her disposal at the right head.

And just in case you missed it, this is how it went down on the 19th of January:

There was tension at State House this morning after it appeared that Lucy Kibaki had landed another hand on a newly elected legislator. This time the victim was none other than renowned lawyer Gitobu Imanyara. It is said that Imanyara retaliated by firing a fist salvo sending Lucy scampering to the floor in front of Mwai Kibaki.

Security men were called in and they proceeded to punch and kick Imanyara to a pulp, and he was later taken to Nairobi hospital. It is claimed that Imanyara had been invited to State House by the President to work out the possibility of filing charges against Budalang’i MP, Ababu Namwamba, after his attack on the President in what is now famously known as “The Standing Order Of The 10th Parliament”. The "first Lady" was pushing for the charges to be filed. However, Imanyara insisted that it was a waste of time, leading to an argument and its inevitable aftermath.
-From our reader by SMS.